My Truth, Authentic Self, and Asmita…

It’s taken me a while to understand what Asmita means. Textually it means false identification but how does it work for us? How does our truth, our authentic self, our Asmita serve us?

In the modern yoga era we all live in it’s easy to get pushed and pulled into this world of expensive yoga clothes, pretty mala beads, and quirky tattoos. We see the girl on the front of the class with her perfectly tattered flowing tank top and Lululemon boogie shorts bending and breathing effortlessly. We see this picture of perfect yoga and try to duplicate it. But how is this making us better in our yoga? In our lives?

I’ve been there. Buying those funky printed pants and researching different types of mala beads and their meaning. Oh the feeling of being the essence of marketed yoga! But this doesn’t serve who I am, my truth, my practice. You bet I love a new pair of yoga pants and tank top, but I needed to realize dripping in OM gear wasn’t my authentic self.

I’m still driving down a three lane highway, not sure where my authentic self ends but I’m on the right track. Finding your true practice on and off the mat is important. It’s an incredible and intimate journey.

Congratulations to those who know their truth and good luck to those still searching.

A New Life Lesson This Birthday

Today I celebrate my 26th birthday and I’m filled with immense love, gratitude, and happiness. But I’m also feeling a bit blue. Before you begin any eye rolling or sighs it’s not because I’m getting “old” or that no one got me a birthday gift. I realized that I’m at the pivotal moment of my years where friends start parting ways.

I was fortunate enough to spend time with friends and family last weekend, cheers-ing beers and playing yard games. At the end of the night as I laid in bed I started to cry. I shouldn’t feel sad because I had a fantastic evening with the company around me. But I became aware that this is the time when my friends are going to begin their post adolescent life, get married, start a family, move away, have priorities etc. I know that after college real life will rear it’s ugly head but I held on to the fact that Best Friends Forever do exist! As a child I couldn’t wait until I was older, now I wish to stop time and enjoy what little moments of irresponsibility and close knit friendships I have.

I will not be sad today or hold onto the “could be’s” and “if only’s,” but I will acknowledge all the life lessons and personal growth I have achieved during my 25th year of age. I’m so happy to have those who are in my life, who support and love me. And I am also happy for those whom I don’t speak with as often and will continue to move further apart.

Last year I made a promise to change my life, to create my own happiness. This year I want to open my heart to all possibilities and make peace with uncontrollable change.

Setting Goals

I am a huge advocate of goal setting. They keep our accountability in check, motivation up, and focus in line. I’ve always found that setting a goal for myself makes me happy because I can accomplish what I find unattainable in that moment. Goals can be anything. Something you want to do that day or finish in a few months. Whatever your goal is keep it up and also form new ones after you’ve obtained success. If you fail try again. No one said it was going to be easy, but it will definitely be worth it.

I encourage everyone to find some inspiration in their life and set a goal. Maybe walk during your lunch break at work. Opt to cook rather than order take out. Read one chapter a night of the book you ordered 4 months ago. Whatever it is go for it! Create the time to work at it. No goal is ever to small.

A few ways to help can be to write your progress in a journal, make an inspiration board with magazines/quotes/pictures, reward yourself with something specific once you’ve reached your goal, ask your friends or family to help keep you accountable.

Good luck! Know that you are an amazing person and can achieve what you put your mind to!

The Lotus Flower Blooms In Merky Water

I let myself live through the motions of life, much like a fallen leaf in the wind. Wherever the outside world took me, I went. Looking back on it now, I wasn’t living. I was existing in this place where I expected someone else to make me happy, finding comfort in an unhealthy pattern, and comparing myself to other people’s failures for validation. What a dark, dark world to be in.

I enjoy writing in a journal because I prefer to verbally vomit all my vulnerabilities onto paper rather than speaking to a human for several reasons. I don’t feel judged, I can be honest without the fear of rejection or punishment, and I like to be able to look back on past thoughts. Yesterday was the 1 year anniversary of my current journal and what an amazing transformation. I’m incredibly proud for taking control of my life and creating my own happiness. I didn’t allow obstacles to define any short comings in my journey, I took them as a learning curve and experiences to grow from. I had several things that I wrote in entry number 1 of things that I wanted to be better about my life. I didn’t admit to myself that the outside variables I wanted to improve upon were up to me to change. I had hopes, I had wishes, I complained about things that I wanted to be different.

After a handful of entries I began to see the transformation. I took steps toward self-improvement which, number 1, was changing my location. Moving out to the big city and embracing a new environment. Next change was lifestyle. I’ve always been an active person but I grew into a slump. I started working out regularly which then gave me more motivation to educate myself on my health and happiness. Once I noticed a physical change in my body, I engrossed myself in articles to help me improve my mental state. I have to live with me until the day I die and I knew I had to love who I am and that life is always in progress.

I’ve created my own happiness and it’s completely turned my world around. I feel the difference every day. I have a lot less angst, I don’t harbor silly emotions that I needn’t to be bothered with, and I’ve become a lot more positive person. It’s truly an incredible feeling to read the beginning of my journal and see how far I’ve come and to say, “I did this.” All my hard work I put forth for 6 or so months was worth it. It’s not over and it’s an on going process to keep up the life I want but I’m in it for the long haul.

The lotus flower has truly bloomed in the merky water.

 

In Sickness and In Health

While enjoying the changing of the leaves and breathing in the brisk fall air, a germ squeaked it’s way into my body and I was left with the seasonal cold. I took good care of myself all week. I slept as much as I could, drank my fluids, and let my body recover. It’s been a full week since I was in the yoga studio and I felt excited to begin my practice. I knew I wouldn’t be able to flow at my normal pace so I sucked up my pride and listened to my body. I found child’s pose when in need and went to my edge when comfortable.

Recovery is a humbling thing. Taking time away from my mat to get healthy (and not infect others) was a struggle. Even though I had to pull myself together for work, I knew I couldn’t go to class and in my mind I wasn’t whole. My mindfulness with daily rituals weren’t as fulfilling or as glorious. Yoga makes me happy and I’m so grateful that I have brought it into my life, but when I had a cold and wasn’t able to power through a vinyasa I felt like my light was dim. Then I realized I wasn’t bringing my practice off the mat.

In sickness and in health, yoga is a  constant reminder of the person I choose to be, what brings passion into my life, and that it’s on going process. Just because I can’t attend my studio for the physical part doesn’t mean I can’t embrace what I’ve learned for my everyday. I never thought I’d learn something from catching a cold… Not to say that I want to be sick again but my yoga practice never ceases to amaze me on the value it brings in my life.