My Truth, Authentic Self, and Asmita…

It’s taken me a while to understand what Asmita means. Textually it means false identification but how does it work for us? How does our truth, our authentic self, our Asmita serve us?

In the modern yoga era we all live in it’s easy to get pushed and pulled into this world of expensive yoga clothes, pretty mala beads, and quirky tattoos. We see the girl on the front of the class with her perfectly tattered flowing tank top and Lululemon boogie shorts bending and breathing effortlessly. We see this picture of perfect yoga and try to duplicate it. But how is this making us better in our yoga? In our lives?

I’ve been there. Buying those funky printed pants and researching different types of mala beads and their meaning. Oh the feeling of being the essence of marketed yoga! But this doesn’t serve who I am, my truth, my practice. You bet I love a new pair of yoga pants and tank top, but I needed to realize dripping in OM gear wasn’t my authentic self.

I’m still driving down a three lane highway, not sure where my authentic self ends but I’m on the right track. Finding your true practice on and off the mat is important. It’s an incredible and intimate journey.

Congratulations to those who know their truth and good luck to those still searching.


A New Life Lesson This Birthday

Today I celebrate my 26th birthday and I’m filled with immense love, gratitude, and happiness. But I’m also feeling a bit blue. Before you begin any eye rolling or sighs it’s not because I’m getting “old” or that no one got me a birthday gift. I realized that I’m at the pivotal moment of my years where friends start parting ways.

I was fortunate enough to spend time with friends and family last weekend, cheers-ing beers and playing yard games. At the end of the night as I laid in bed I started to cry. I shouldn’t feel sad because I had a fantastic evening with the company around me. But I became aware that this is the time when my friends are going to begin their post adolescent life, get married, start a family, move away, have priorities etc. I know that after college real life will rear it’s ugly head but I held on to the fact that Best Friends Forever do exist! As a child I couldn’t wait until I was older, now I wish to stop time and enjoy what little moments of irresponsibility and close knit friendships I have.

I will not be sad today or hold onto the “could be’s” and “if only’s,” but I will acknowledge all the life lessons and personal growth I have achieved during my 25th year of age. I’m so happy to have those who are in my life, who support and love me. And I am also happy for those whom I don’t speak with as often and will continue to move further apart.

Last year I made a promise to change my life, to create my own happiness. This year I want to open my heart to all possibilities and make peace with uncontrollable change.

Setting Goals

accomplishment is trying

I am a huge advocate of goal setting. They keep our accountability in check, motivation up, and focus in line. I’ve always found that setting a goal for myself makes me happy because I can accomplish what I find unattainable in that moment. Goals can be anything. Something you want to do that day or finish in a few months. Whatever your goal is keep it up and also form new ones after you’ve obtained success. If you fail try again. No one said it was going to be easy, but it will definitely be worth it.

I encourage everyone to find some inspiration in their life and set a goal. Maybe walk during your lunch break at work. Opt to cook rather than order take out. Read one chapter a night of the book you ordered 4 months ago. Whatever it is go for it! Create the time to work at it. No goal is ever to small.

A few ways to help can be to write your progress in a journal, make an inspiration board with magazines/quotes/pictures, reward yourself with something specific once you’ve reached your goal, ask your friends or family to help keep you accountable.

Good luck! Know that you are an amazing person and can achieve what you put your mind to!

Let Go Of What We Think Is Perfection

HowThis morning in practice my amazing instructor focused on letting our body and movement guide our flow. Let go of what we are supposed to look like or how each pose is supposed to be. It’s okay to shake, it’s okay to fall out of stability. Building and pushing ourselves to our edge only makes us grow. I usually think too analytically when I focus on something to work on as opposed to letting my body feel it out. It ends up making me over compensate, wobble or holding on too long to my breath.

It’s funny how our practice can translate to outside of our mat. I have a very busy weekend, full of fun events and lovely people. I should be excited and I am, but I think about the where, how, when of my days. As I sit here though, I thought about how to make today and myself better. How can I be the best me I can be? I’ve decided it’s to stay present and let the day flow. Stop focusing on the next thing in my schedule and just enjoy what’s happening now. My days aren’t perfect, nor will they ever be.

I hope everyone has a fantastic end of February and enjoy today for what it is!

Daily Mantra: Today Is For Me

“This time is for you and only you,” says my yoga teacher with sincerity and love. “Nobody or nothing else matters. Leave whatever it is you are worried, scared or sad about outside this room.”

If it were only that easy.

I never thought that I would feel trapped or run down with the various relationships in my life. Pleasing people or making them feel good has never felt like a chore. I relish in the sense of satisfaction when I can makes someone’s day or help them through a tough time. But there comes a time when you can’t be taken advantage of or feel guilty because you weren’t able to make that coffee date.

I rarely ever break down. I always try and stay strong, keep my composure. Last night was a different story. I was to simply put, exhausted. Tired of trying to be a friend with a shoulder to cry on, tired of fulfilling the role of the perfect girlfriend, tired of appeasing the people I’m closest with because I want them to be happy. What about me? I just want a moment of silence. A moment where I don’t have to play therapist, mom, friend, anything.

I’ve made a lot of changes in my life the last year and am loving who I have become and who I might grow into. Life is always in progress. I mustn’t forget the independence I love. Oh the silence of a good book and tea, I can feel the crisps pages and silence sparkling through my body just thinking about it.

We need to remind ourselves that it’s ok to be selfish and do things for ourselves when we need it. It  helps recharge our mind, body and soul. Take time and listen to our thoughts and feelings. If we feel agitated and frustrated when we normally wouldn’t, take a step back and figure out what it is that’s missing.

Let’s all treat ourselves today. Turn our phones off. Book that massage. Take a nap. Do and love what it is that relinquishes the anger and unhappiness from our thoughts. It’s okay to think of yourself today. It’s okay to think of yourself everyday.

Repeat this as often as you need, “Today is for me.”

The Area Between Child and Adult. Where Is My Path?

Adulthood thus far… A story of a twenty something chick who is mindful yogi, dedicated employee, caring friend and family member … but also a not so put together gal looking for light. If I could just get my sh*t  on track I’d stop feeling guilty when acquaintances ask me, “What are you up to these days?” My answer? “Oh just working full time and living in the city.” What I really want to divulge is, “I live each f$cking day hoping something extraordinary will take me away traveling again or that I can earn a comfortable living by teaching Yoga 10 classes a week.” This honesty makes for an awkward conversation… Trust me.

Is anyone else tired of feeling lost or consider themselves a late bloomer in the career world? I can not tell you how many times I’ve chit chatted with my parents that were NOT helpful in the slightest when it came to figuring our where I belong in this economic society. Can we not just get paid for who we are and what we offer to the world as people? No? Too naïve? Yeah… I need some adult-ing to do.

Going to school I felt pressured to find a focus, find a major, start work early. I’m over it and I  haven’t even reached a halfway point in my working longevity. LET’S JUST TURN DOWN THIS PRESSURE COOKER OF EMPLOYMENT PLEASE!

Don’t get me wrong, I have goals. I have hopes. I have dreams. I’m not saying I don’t value the system of hard work to step up the ladder. But I think I’m on the wrong ladder. Or at least a different ladder from everyone else. Mine is in the bushes climbing up a tree to over see the views when it seems everyone else is scaling a sky scrapper. Good for them who enjoy the corporate world, but I just feel a wee bit out of place.

I’m no stranger to the “Get up and live your dream!” attitude and manifestation. I try and execute it every day but taking advantage of experiences and feelings. When it comes to my job though, I can’t quite give up the guilt of leaving my office, my paycheck and my worry-free grocer shopping. I can afford organic this way!

I have plenty of faith that I will get to where I want to be one day when it comes to making a living. I have learned an abundance about myself and what I can’t control by having my current job in which I wouldn’t have figured out otherwise.  I repeat my daily mantra: Patience. I manifest that I will one day have the career or non-career that I’ve always wanted that will allow me to utilize my creativity, love and light. If you’re like me who has so much desire and hope for themselves but has NO IDEA what they’re doing, hold on and never let go of what makes you passionate in life. Practice patience and more patience. Let your life happen when you and it are ready.

Compassion With The Unworthy

Since practicing yoga, I’ve acknowledged and incorporated several of the concepts to my daily living. I’ve taken focus in my Yamas and Niyamas and integrated them to settle myself into a more emotional sacred space.  I feel more control, more content, and more happy now that I’ve surrounded my mindfulness and actions through the 8 limbs of yoga. But what about the things I can’t control?

I’ve recently come across a situation where I was hurt by someone else’s actions. It would be easy to brush it under the rug, have the brute mentality of pretending not to care but where would that get me? What do we do when someone whom we thought was a friend, lover, or family member does something that hurts us? No matter the size of the issue, our emotions are validated. We are effected and it’s OK  to feel upset.

The question now is, “How should we handle the issue?” We can’t expect someone to be enlightened by our forth coming honesty of feelings or that they will welcome us in open arms with an apology. But we can’t silence the fire that’s inside us because we think they might say we are being over sensitive and make us feel ashamed.  When someone has a smaller dose of compassion than others, it’s difficult to try and speak with them about our vulnerabilities. We assume our feelings will be tomorrows garbage.

What I have learned and experienced with this particular situation is even though people can’t understand or show lack of compassion, that doesn’t mean they don’t deserve it. We all have qualities that we feel need a little TLC. Normally when someone lashes out or has an issue with a particular action, it’s a projection of their own insecurities. Be kind, show them love and support. Our actions don’t need to define who we are and our reactions can bring light into a dark space.

Take the day to show compassion to someone who needs it.